The Feeling Cycle and How to Stop Attraction

What do we do with feelings?

It is easy to say we should just live them, but feelings can be painful, they can be confusing, and they can be damn inconvenient.

I have had a rough time with feelings in my life; for the longest time I wished I didn't have to feel them at all. I willed myself to be numb.
At times I managed that- to feel nothing. The big problem being that feeling nothing is about as crummy as feeling crummy.

So I learned how to feel. It took a long time. I had many relapses into wanting to be numb. But that is not an easy possibility for most people. Especially hard for someone who doesn't really drink, and entirely doesn't do drugs.

Acceptance of my feelings was the biggest thing. To accept that I could feel ______, and that that was okay. I didn't have to like it, I could try and change it, but I had to recognise the fact that at that moment I did, in fact, feel that way.

Which has led me to where I am now. I accept my feelings. I frequently do not like them, but I accept them, and allow them to happen.

That is where the inconvenience comes in.

I have feelings for someone. Okay, I can accept that and let them happen- which I have been doing.
However now I am getting signals from them that my feelings are deeper than theirs; a very common predicament.

And I'm actually okay with that! I do not mind trying to ramp the feelings down. I think I would actually prefer the relationship on that "lower" level.

I just don't know how.

I never got to lesson two of feeling school: how to change them.
Okay, that is a lie, I know the basic gist- thoughts become actions, actions become emotions, emotions become thoughts. Alter any one and the others will follow.

And I've done it before to good effect.
It is just always a hard process.

I'm just glad it never broached the line into a romantic attraction; as a greyromantic individual I find that kind of attraction very hard to deal with, both having and getting rid of.
But it did cross the lines from aesthetic and platonic to sexual and sensual attractions.
And that sensual one is killer for me. The other three are easy enough to toss to the side as needed. But the sensual one... It lingers.

Which comes back to, what do we do with feelings? Specifically misplaced ones?

What actions do I need to take to change my thoughts and feelings? I can't control my feelings, I have only a little control of my thoughts, but my actions... I can change my actions however I like.

I don't know what actions I need to take, but I'm going to do whatever I can think of. A beautiful side effect of feeling love for someone is that you want to give them what they desire. In this case their desire is for me to not desire them.

Wish me luck.