Positive Thinking cont., Moving out, Shift Change, Downsizing, and Up Styling

Well hello again my lovelies~
I've got a number of things I feel inclined to write about today, all some what connected, but none too extensive at this point.
So let's delve in:

First thing I would like to address in this post is a brief check in on my last post.
While I still agree with what has been posted there, there are some developments in the last twelve or so days that I found intriguing.
One thing I would like to note is that while the idea for that post had been jostling in my head for months (at least since February), the decision to start a "Positivity Journal" was a spur of the moment thing as I wrote that post.
And while I do have a good track record for spur of the moment changes, they are generally poorly advised. But more on that in another post.

1. I have been keeping the journal, though I started on the 16th, not the 15th.
2. The entries are quite short, some days only one point, and maybe not the most magical of a point.
3. I feel more inclined to write right after I add to the journal.

And it is that last point that I am going to expand on in yet another post. I guess basically you can think of this post as a foreshadowing of the future of this blog. Neat, huh?

Another thing I feel like talking about today is my relatively imminent departure from this abode.
However that is a multifaceted topic.

Firstly, I have acquired employment! Yay me, yeah?
It is above minimum wage, however (and this leads to another point on my list) it is a night shift.
So I have flipped my sleeping schedule upside down basically. Which is kind of neat, and actually gives me more time to do things I enjoy.

Working this job will be giving me enough resources in order to, before the year is out, enter into a solitary living arrangement.

However, as many people know, entering into your first solo living experience often means small spaces and limited resources.
That's where the downsizing portion of the title comes in.

I am trying to determine exactly what I need and use, to help myself start a less cluttered lifestyle.

Which leads so nicely into what I like to call "Up Styling", based on the idea of "UpCycling". (I probably didn't come up with Up Styling as a term. But I have no idea if I picked it up from somewhere, or where I would have.)

Basically, Up Styling is in the realm of Lifehacks and similar. Tips and tricks to make life easier, but also (because of other factors in my life) more compact, reusable, clean and eco-friendly.

I guess I am becoming one of those yuppie hipster people? I don't know.

Whatevs, that's all for this post. Just a quick update on things, most of which I am going to expand upon in the next couple of posts.

Good luck, have fun, don't die, and I'll miss you!

Focus on the Positive~!

Something I've never quite understood about myself is my lack of desire to journal (or blog) during what may be called "up" times.
You see, I like to keep a diary.
At least, I think I do.
But I find that when things are going really well, when I am feeling really good, good things are happening, the depression is at bay... I don't feel that urge to write about what is going on.
If I'm lucky I will feel the urge to write fiction.
But not about reality.

And I can't quite put my finger on why this is.

Now, don't take that to mean that things are bad right now.
Quite the opposite, in fact.

I just noticed it (again) recently.

See, I had that depressive episode at the end of April.
Which kind of soured my May as well (and a bit of June).
And I was writing in my diary, and on here.
Then I met a (wondrous) girl, started hearing back from possible job people, seeing friends, going to Ottawa...
And suddenly I have no desire to write.
Then had a close encounter of the bitchy kind with my old... friend...y...person...thing, R, and suddenly wanted to journal again.

The reason this disturbs me is such:
By writing down my negative thoughts and feelings am I not giving them permanence that I do not then lend to the positive ones?

I can easily look back and say "Oh, yeah, I really felt shit that day."
But I can't easily point somewhere and say "Look how many good things happened then!"

And even when I do journal about good things, or things I think are good, I tend to end up pulling out the negatives-- my fears, worries, where I think I screwed up or will.

And perhaps the reason I do this is tied to the idea of secrecy that our society places on "negative" feelings.
People are "supposed" to be happy. So we are taught from a young age not to show when we are upset (if we don't have to).
It is socially acceptable to be joyous-- but looked far down upon to be in a rage.

So perhaps what happened is I started writing the negative feelings because there was nowhere else to safely  (in my head) release them. But there is no ingrained feeling of needing to write down positive thoughts, because I can let them show.

It could also lead back to my habit of (over)analysing things. I don't want to look too closely at the good feelings for fear I will turn them into bad feelings.


I guess what I am getting at is I am going to try journaling something good every day for the next month.
Try and describe only the good aspects of it, why it makes me feel good, etc.
And see if at the end of that, it becomes as habitual as my other journaling.

I think focusing on the positive is a great piece of advice, and one too hastily rejected. So I'll stop being a hypocrite and try it out.

New Years

There are many things I don't understand about human tradition, (or at least humans in my culture as, if I were to incorporate the entirety of human existence, the list would be never ending), but one that comes up every year (how's about that) is the idea of 'New Years' and the resolutions thereof.

It isn't that I don't understand the idea of wanting a fresh start, I certainly get that.
But if you want to make a change in your life, why limit yourself to one time of year to start trying?
Every day can be considered the start of a new year. If a year is defined as a space of 365 (or 366) days, or as the amount of time before the earth has done a complete rotation around the sun, either way it will be a full year before January 1st comes around again. Same for the 2nd. Or August 15th. Or any day of any year.

So why is JANUARY ONE considered the best day to decide the curvature of your life for the next year and the years to come?

Honestly, since so many people are drunk on New Years it actually seems like the worst time to decide... anything.

The only time one should commit to a life changing course of action should be when they are ready for a change.
My dad told be something that he had heard once, last week:
"Never change anything in your life until you are completely bored with where you are."

I understand the desire, I just don't understand the significance of a New Year's resolution.
Especially since they are notorious for failure.

If you want to change something in your life, do it.
Don't wait for the new year, don't pin it on the change of time.
Just do it (thanks Nike, now I can never say that with a straight face.).

Of course, if New Years is the only time you think about rearranging your life then that is understandable.
But that pressure for people to have a resolution is silly.
If I don't have a resolution, it doesn't mean I have no desire to change anything.

I made my most recent resolution on the 7th of December. Because that was the day I decided I could not stand one more day of living the way I was.
So I resolved to change.

So I guess the point of this post is to ask:

Do you make New Years resolutions?

Have you ever succeeded with one?

Do you feel you have to make one?

If so, what makes you feel that way?

Why do you make resolutions?

Me?

I do, once every couple of years.

I'm not sure if I have ever succeeded, I don't remember what any of them were.

Yes, I do feel pressured.
People announcing theirs, or asking about mine. When you say you don't have one, that look they get that says that you are lazy, or unambitious, or unmotivated. That look makes me feel like I am wrong for not having one.

I make resolutions (as stated above) when I feel I can no longer put up with what is going on. They can be small ones ( I WILL clean my room today, and keep it clean for a week!) or they can be big ones (I will no longer participate in the vicious cycle of self harm.). But whatever they are, they are sparked by the horrible feeling of worthlessness, and the much better feeling of being better than that. Deserving more than what I am giving myself.
I dont know if that is the "right" way to do it, but it has worked so far.