It will be okay, if you let it be.

I've been talking with a friend, and that got me thinking- a dangerous pastime, I know.

People live in fear.
(Not the most revolutionary thought, but bear with me.)

People lie, deceive, fight, and generally feel bad... because they live in fear.
We fear talking to one another. We fear sharing the most intimate parts of ourselves with others.
We fear ridicule, exclusion, outright rejection.
We fear feeling hurt.

We fear talking to each other. But that is often exactly what we need to do to alleviate the fear!

If we can be honest with those around us, if we can be open, and clear, and just say what we mean (and mean what we say), then we can get rid of the unknown "will they like me, won't they say no, what are they thinking?"

Once the unknown becomes known, the fear is defeated.
Sure, it could be replaced with hurt. Or it could be replaced with joy.
New fears may come to light, but old ones will be reduced to shadows.

But no matter what happens, you have been honest, with yourself and with others. You have made your thoughts, feelings, and needs clear- open to the world.
How can you get what you want if you do not ask for it?

I think the hardest thing is figuring out how to be okay no matter the outcome. Then you are strong enough to face the fear.
Ask someone a question, will you be okay with any answer?

Lets say you ask someone for a date. There are only two likely outcomes:

Yes,
or,
No.

Will you be comfortable with either of those?

Not necessarily like both of them (surely one is more preferable), but be able to say "That is an acceptable answer."?

Say they say yes. How will that make you feel? Are you okay with that?
Say they say no. How will that make you feel? Are you okay with that?

Until you can be okay with any answer (again, don't have to like it), the fear will still be there, will still be winning.
Until you can be comfortable that your feelings are valid and valuable, you'll always be hinged on what other people say, how they react.
You have to be okay. 
Okay with feeling hurt. Okay with feeling dumb. Okay with the 'bad' things in this world.
Otherwise you are giving other people the power to dictate your emotional state.

You don't have to LIKE them! By gosh, you can hate them.
But you have to be okay. You have to accept that those feelings can happen, and let them happen.

Or you will forever be in fear.

I believe...

Do you ever sit and wonder about this mess we've made of the world?
I find myself doing that a lot.

I know it doesn't help anyone or anything to be bitter or complain. It's just that sometimes the world feels overwhelmingly diseased.
Humans have stripped and raped the earth, beaten it to within an inch of its life. And yet the "people in charge", as it were, seem to not realise... or, maybe more accurately, not care.

It is hard to look at dying ecosystems, suffering livestock, polluted waters, smog filled skies, starving and homeless masses, endless pointless wars, and people growing sicker every year... and think "this is how it is supposed to be".
Just because the upper echelons are telling us that this is the best way.

Statistics tell us that crime rates are going down. After hitting a peak in the early '90's they've been steadily going down.
They show that undernourishment has also been dropping since then.
War (deaths) is down. Life expectancy is up.
Yet what do we see in the media? What messages are we bombarded with on a daily basis?

Be afraid.
Consume more.
Hate yourself.
Don't be informed, learn from us.

Why can't the world be idealised?
I mean, I recognise that not everyone shares the same ideals... However I have to think that there are some underlying commonalities. If only for my own sanity and hope.

So here's what I believe.

I believe that lifeforms were not made unto this world to suffer.
I believe there are ways of living happily, with wealth, that do not involve harming others.
I believe there is enough in this world for everyone to live a life of wealth and happiness.
I believe that most of today's "necessities" are useless and wasteful.
I believe that most of what today is considered "waste" are the important things.
I believe that the world is flawed, and we need to change it.
And I believe simplicity is the answer.

So out with the new, and in with the old.

“The only people who can change the world are people who want to. And not everybody does.”

― Hugh MacLeod 

Setting Up Routines

For someone like me, a routine is a safe haven. Routines make the world go round. I thrive on schedules and routine as they make me more productive and happy. If you too find yourself depressed and aimless, perhaps a routine would help you as well. Here are some tips I've found for setting up and sticking to a routine:

1. Schedule the most important things first. 
• This allows you to accurately gauge how much time you have
• It also makes sure that what has to get done is fully accounted for.
2. Set aside time for the things you enjoy.
• Put aside at least an hour each day for 'you' time. 
• Whether this is 15 minute writing chunks or an hour of meditation, having something to look forward to will compel you to follow the routine.
3. Have consistency. 
• The more things you can do at the same time every day, or on the same day every week, the better.
• Do laundry every Saturday at noon, or eat lunch at the same time every day. 
• This programs your body and brain to expect certain things to happen, making them remind you follow your schedule
4. Have several schedules. 
• Daily, Weekly, Monthly and Yearly are all useful in different ways, so it helps to have one of each going.
• A Daily schedule is great for the little things of life. If you have a job with the same work hours every day you probably already have a daily schedule started.
• A Weekly schedule helps keep track of the things you need to do every week, like laundry and soccer practice.
• Monthly schedules are great for seeing those once in a while tasks 
• Yearly schedules help you stay up to date on birthdays, anniversaries and special events.
5. Factor in fudge time.
•  Not everything will always go as planned. So factor in an amount of time for things to go over the allotted time. 
• My favourite way of doing this is to make everything fall into 30 minute chunks, even if I know they will take less than 30 minutes
6. Don't schedule things you aren't going to do.
•  If you know you're not going to paint the garage this weekend, don't put it on your schedule. 
• It isn't going to motivate you, it will bring you down when you look and say you didn't do it.
• By only scheduling things you know you will do you open up more free time for those out of place tasks and increase motivation to follow the schedule.
7. Don't stress what doesn't get done.
• In addendum to that, make sure that if a certain task doesn't get done on time, or at all, that you don't put yourself down. Make note of why you didn't do the task, and factor  that in to changing the schedule for next time.
8. Add in some relaxation time
• Along with fun time make sure you put in a bit of relaxation time. 
• This is important to maintain faith in the system and to keep from running yourself ragged.
9. Have reminders
• Whether it is your phone sending you push notifications, or your watch beeping on the hour, have reminders of what time it is and what you're supposed to do.
• It is very easy to get sucked into an activity and ignore the rest of your obligations. By having an alarm telling you it is coming time to change activities you can prepare for the end by wrapping up what you are doing.
10. Adjust your schedule. 
• Set aside time now and again to evaluate your schedule and tweak it until you are a well oiled machine.
• Take notes as you use the schedule on what can be done better so that when it comes time to adjust the schedule you know what works and what doesn't.

That all said my favourite scheduling program is Google Calendar. It is easy to use and quickly and quietly links to all of my devices, allowing them to send me pop-ups when new tasks are coming up, as well as reminding me of birthdays and other significant events. Google Calendar is all at once a Daily, Weekly, Monthly and Yearly schedule, making it ideal for a one stop shop. 

I hope all this can help you set up a routine that fits your lifestyle and helps you be a happier, more productive person!