Semi-Annual Update

Here I am again, blogosphere! (always wanted to use that word!)

I felt it was time to give an update, and thought I might try writing here a bit more again.
We'll see how that goes, I am rather spotty with this stuff.

These last six months have been some of the most turbulent I've had in quite a while, and perhaps the best since I was young. A lot has changed, and I've come to realise I've changed a lot.

I started school again back in September- something I thought I wouldn't do for many more years.
This came about only by completely forsaking my past dreams.

I have, for many years now, wanted to be a librarian. I wanted to spend time in the library, shelve books, do research, help people.
I went to school for that exact purpose! I took two years of post-secondary schooling to earn my Library and Information Technician diploma (an Associate's Degree). I loved everything I learned, I especially loved cataloging and my placements.
But I didn't love myself.
That last day of school was incredibly tough on me and mine- I was very close to successful in a suicide attempt.
I moved back home after that, defeated, tired, broken. I had given up on everything, I had given up on giving up. I was ready to just live life at the bare minimum until I could finally f'ing leave this world.
I got a job at a big box store. A soul-sucking, mind numbing, physical labour job on the night shifts. They screwed me over from day one, telling me I was full time(and giving me full time hours) but hiring me as part-time. So no benefits for me!
I worked there for a while before managing to move out somewhat on my own. My mom rented out the upper apartment and I the lower of a two apartment unit.
I actually did quite well on my own- for a few months, I ate healthily, I got to a good weight, I got to work on time, enjoyed my time off.
Soon though it all caught up to me. I started getting depressed again. I was having panic attacks, I couldn't go to work. I had to take a leave of absence. Then another. Then finally I had to quit- because I was moving to Ottawa to live with my Blue Bird!
As we know things got a little better from there.
Then worse.
Then good.
Then weird.

Now I am here, and I realised I was never going to be that librarian. The person who wanted to be that didn't even exist any more. That brings us up to about here.

I waded in that uncertainty for a while. In that time I became vegan again- a very good choice!
I decided in August that I wanted to open and run a vegan restaurant. If you can't find a job make one, right?

So on the 2nd of September I applied to St. Lawrence for Business Fundamentals. On the 4th I was accepted. On the 8th, I started. And it has been a bit of a ride since then!



OSAP has been a bitch, but I think I've got that sorted.
Decide I don't want to date or think about girls until I was a bit more... man.
That went so well /s. Met a very pretty girl.
Oops, I think she thinks I'm stalking her?
Oh well.
"Shit, my penis broke!" is not a sentence any man wants to have to say.
Oh, shit, her boyfriend is mad.
Avoid, avoid, don't make this weird/creepy, avoid.
OSAP wasn't sorted, maybe it is now?
Nope.
Starting gender therapy? YES!
I guess I'm f'ed if I really want to start a restaurant- it's going to be years of saving money and no one who knows things about the business thinks it'll work out.
Finally, OSAP!
Oh, I guess I like accounting now.
I can have an appointment around February to start hormones? !!!!
Oh, fuck, I really like accounting now.
Is.. is my teacher really that cool, or am I crazy?
Whelp, I guess I'm an accountant now.
Yes, yes she really is that cool.
Oh, gosh, and she's nice.
GSA! GSA!
I think I'm weirding her out.
Queer sports!
Nope, she's into it.
EXISTENTIAL CRISIS
I think we're friends now?
Holidays are tomorrow?!
We're definitely friends now.
4.0 GPA? o.o



And now we're now. I'm doing really well in school!

I'm an accounting major now. That puts at least another year on my plate, probably 3.5 more though, as I think I'll aim for CPA.
What have I gotten myself into?

Despite thinking I should stay away from girls I've lus(h/t)ed after one and... entangled... myself in another. Girls are weird, mang. But that is a whole different kind of blog post.

I have been getting psychotherapy! It is great- despite causing an existential crisis. Through that I have been put on a wait list for an endocrinologist in Peterborough- probably see them mid February, and start testosterone soon after? o3o?



There. That's your update for today. Though I feel like I have a bunch more to say (and probably some things to elaborate on, but...).

Real Life Reviews: Aji Sai Sushi

After game night last week my friend and I were quite hungry. As is becoming a thing for us after game night, we went for sushi. My friend recommended Aji Sai, as she had been there before and it was close.

At 178 Ontario street Aji Sai is quite close to the downtown transfer point. It has an unassuming facade that can be easily walked by. But once you're inside that changes. You enter into a large room with the sushi making station in the center. The light sets a very mellow tone, while the decor is modern with brick. The place is warm, even seated beside the door as we were, and the mixed nationality music had very good acoustics through the place.

The servers and food were both prompt, though that may have partly been being some of the last customers of the night. We both got the all you can eat deal, which cost about $24 after taxes. Considering our last sushi adventure, this was a savings. We were given each a bowl of miso soup which was a great palette cleanser. It was just the right temperature to drink, and wasn't too thick or milky.

We started with a Sex on the Beach roll. It was pleasantly sweet, but the sauce dribbled on it had a bite. It benefited from the sweet ginger garnish, and was wrapped in pink nori- a very pleasing ascetic.

The salmon sushi and sashimi didn't really do it for me, as I found the salmon to be a bit watery and bland. However the Takoyaki was a pleasant surprise in being a chewy sweet fried dumpling, with a hint of ginger.

The Volcano roll was smooth and chewy, and had an overbearing taste of cucumber. Meanwhile the BBQ Short Rib roll was much too American flavoured, and unsettlingly warm, if not unpleasant. I quite enjoyed the tuna sushi for its melt in your mouth smoothness and umami sweetness.

I tried two more sashimis, both butterfish and mackerel, and neither were quite my style. The butterfish was quite fishy tasting, and burst in your mouth with a watery wetness, and left a lemony aftertaste. Much to the opposite the mackerel was almost too dry and flaky with a strong level of salt and a peppery aftertaste.

The Red Dragon roll was good, but I found it to be the less satisfying younger brother of my favourite of the night, the Black Dragon roll. The Black Dragon roll was topped with ultra smooth and buttery eel, while the tempura shrimp added just the right amount of crunch.

For dessert we had a melange of mango. A bowl of mango ice cream that had a truly satisfying milkiness to it that it must be homemade. And a Mango Milky. Now this was nothing like the milkshake I was expecting. Instead it was a two layered shot glass of thin milk pudding and a mango puree creating a sweet and intense mango flavour. Now that's a shot I can get behind!

I found the portion sizes to be a wee bit small, but enjoyed that I could then select more things to try. The restrooms were impeccably clean and private, but they were exceptionally small.

All in all I quite enjoyed the experience and wouldn't mind returning. Even a good while later as I write this I am still full from my meal, and don't regret the expense. Perhaps give it a go the next time you're nearby.